Welcome
Tuesday, February 24th, 2026, 6:21PM-6:30PM
Rating: N/A
Topic: This very blog
This is a blog omg! I'll log on here and yap yap yap about my day/opinions. The most recent post will always be at the top (though this particular one will always be right below the header). I hope you enjoy. In the future I'll try and add comments/ a way for you to interact or ask me questions.
uwu
Monday, March 9th, 2026 12:47AM-
Rating: Obscene
Topic: irl paws
I saw the funniest thing today. I was at the gym. It was right before closing, so pretty empty. I was doing a chest machine and there was this guy in the area in front of me. He was skinny but muscular. Muscular and veiny, skinny muscles though. His sleeves were rolled up. Definitely derived from the chad archetype. Anyways, he had this lady with him. They were doing forearm excercises. He kept demonstrating how to do them, and everytime he did it looked like he was pawing at the air. I can't make this up. I feel bad but I wanted to burst out laughing. I couldn't hold back a smirk from spreading across my face. I hope he didn't notice.
oh no
Friday, March 6th, 2026 10:24PM-10:29PM
Rating:Hysterical
Topic:Misery
WHY did I start reading Normalsville? Why did I do this to myself? There is no happiness, no joy, no good endings, just cheating and lying and substances. Every plotline is like watching a car crash in slow motion. I can't look away. Yes, I am salty that Ferris ended up with Owen after all his struggles.
Colon Three
Thursday, March 5th, 2026 12:10AM-12:20AM
Rating: Mundane
Topic:I'm a gay emo furry :(
I finally listened to an album I had been putting off for a while. Disaster Trick by Horse Jumper of Love. It's really great. I can't pick a favorite track. It's a perfect winter album, but I think it's for the better that I didn't listen to it during the winter because it would not have helped my seasonal depression at all. I also started reading Normalsville. It's realy fun. I love Harrod. And Ferris. Ferris is the best. Poor Ferris. These two pieces of media are forever connected in my head. I decided to start reading the webcomic while listening to the album for the first time. It was surreal. I highly recommend it. I still haven't done anything productive, which is a good thing, I do enough of that during school. Okay, you caught me, I lied. I did do something productive. I mapped out a set of flashcards I'm going to make containing every topic in calc bc. Before the AP test I plan on going to the park and reviewing all of calculus with chalk. :3
Rotmaxxing
Tuesday, March 3rd, 2026 8:51PM-9:03PM
Rating: Chill
Topic: Break
Neocities says this site has 174 views. I don't know if they're all from me testing things out or if there are some strangers mixed in. If you are a stranger, hi! We should become net neighbors! I know the site is lackluster right now but it will be perpetually under development and improving.
School let out for spring break. I have done absolutely nothing productive with all my free time. I guess I've been hitting the gym, but that's more for my own enjoyment than anything else. I recently started playing Atlyss. I can't quite put my finger on it but something about it is just... great :) I beat the main story in a couple days. Don't worry, I touch grass, there just isn't much story so far. I'm pretty sure the game is still being developed. Feel free to reach out if you want to play Steam games btw. I have Atlyss, Phasmophobia, Repo, Terraria, just to name a few. Of course, no game would be complete without tv playing on the second monitor. I feel awful. I was rewatching Malcolm in the Middle, but I paused that rewatch to rewatch Futarama. I couldn't trudge through the new seasons of Futarama, so I started watching a new show. I started watching Community. It's great. Jeff is so fine.
Nostalgiamaxxing
Thursday, February 26th, 2026, 9:33PM-10:35PM
Rating: Bittersweet
Topic: SageGenesis
Months ago, I was brutally kept up at night. I kept hearing this heavenly guitar riff in my head. I had heard it before, but I forgot where. It was torture. I went through my mp3 player listening to all the albums it could have been from, nothing. Eventually I lost hope, I fell asleep, and I went on about my life. I went to school, took tests, studied, worked out, hung out with my friends, and every now and again that melody would enter my head, sometimes taunting me, sometimes giving encouragement, sometimes judging me, but always out of reach. Well, I finally found it. I was rewatching one of my highlight reels, the one where I used to post concert clips. I was tapping through it, trying to get to one of the newer clips but I froze. I heard that melody, exactly as I remembered it, well, as exact as my phone's crappy mic could make out.
Last year I was a junior, and I had a senior friend I looked up to. He had his own band. I loved them. I couldn't go to most of their shows because my mom wouldn't let me go to house shows, but last summer they headlined the local venue with a bunch of other local bands. The song that had been haunting me was from one of those bands. I heard it exactly once, live, and it didn't leave my mind but instead buried itself under the floorboard and thumped at the worst possible times. Something doesn't sit right with me. It's an upbeat song (by my depressing standards) but I still feel sad when I listen to it.
The years of my life can easily be defined by the music I listened to during them. Last year was easily the most fun year of highschool I've had. Last year I flew model rockets, planes, and drones, my desk was messy with my soldering iron and microcontrollers, I made stuff. Last year the iminent graduation still felt far away. There was a certain magic I could feel last year. This was reflected in the music I listened to, jagged and upbeat post-punk. Bands like Preoccupations, Deeper, and N0V3L (go check them out!). Everything's different now though. All my electronic and rocket stuff is tucked away. I don't have the time to play with them and I don't have the motivation to make time for them. I forgot all the skills I had built and I don't have the motivation to learn them again. I'm washed. This alone wouldn't make me so sad though, there's something else. Every year I've had some sort of role model. Last year it was that senior and his band. He was so nonchalant. He was never worried. He was never bothered. I don't know why exactly but I looked up to him, I got attached to him. He made me feel safe, he made me feel seen.
He's gone now. Going to that concert was like saying farewell. I even had an interesting dream about that concert, but this is already dragging on. I'm the senior now. For the first time there is nobody to look up to, no shelter to take comfort. I look behind me at all the underclassmen and I silently grieve knowing I can't do for them what the seniors before me did for me. There are only 11 fridays until graduation. I wasn't ready last year. I wasn't ready during december when I got my college acceptance. i'm not ready today. I won't be ready tomorrow.
A few weeks ago I made a feeble attempt to reclaim the comfort I had last year. I downloaded a bunch of the songs I listened to at the time and put them on. It didn't help me at all. That song though, that melody, that concert forced me to come to terms with the shift happening. Maybe that's why it stuck to me when all the other music didn't. Now that I have that song in my ear, it fills me with sadness remembering what once was, but also the determination to push through.
First Entry!
Wednesday, February 25th, 2026, 8:56PM-9:10PM
Rating: Modest
Topic: Double Homocide (and calculus)
My calculus teacher had been out for a while. I want to say at least a week there were substitutes for his class. Well, he was finally back in today (3 days before break btw) and he told us the reason he was out. He was doing jury duty on a double homocide case! He said the murders took place in the neighborhood in front of one of the schools in our district. Coincidentally, (I hope I spelled that right) I drove in between that school/neighborhood while picking up dinner. I got the chills, mostly from my air conditioner blasting cold air straight onto my arms while the light of a thousand suns from the car behind me bounced of the mirror and went straight into my retinas. There were also a bunch of cars lining the streets between the school and neighborhood, but I'm sure it was unrelated to the murders. I definitely regret driving through there, not because of the case but because I'm feeling the weight of all the food I ate. Nashville hot chicken. The kind of food that makes you feel guilty for having a mouth and teeth at all. I want to fast for a week after that, though of course I'll be eating like nothing happened tomorrow. I really don't know how to end these things so I'll just stop typing.
